Canyon of Sumidero

Today is Saturday so I had the chance to go off on an excursion. I decided to take a boat ride in the canyon of Sumidero. First I had to get there. As the saying goes, getting there should be half the fun. About 15 of us piled into a van. There were about half a dozen Mexicanos, another half a dozen Italians, 2 girls from Switzerland, and me.
Based on some extensive experience, I´d like to pass on to you what it takes to be a successful van or bus driver in Mexico or Guatemala. First, when passengers board and have the nerve, particularly foreigers, to ask if the bus goes to ______________(fill in the blank), it´s important to respond with an incomprehensible grunt. It´s incomprehensible because it could mean yes, no, or who knows? Second, to qualify as a successful bus/van driver, you must reach a speed of at least twice the speed limit within town. The city fathers (gender bias intended) anticipate this so they place large speed bumps ("topes") every few blocks or so. Some are marked and some aren´t. They have to be built sufficiently high so that if you hit one at a speed faster than 10 mph, you lose an axle. A good driver will accelerate to mind-boggling speeds before braking hard to¨"diminish his velocity" a few meters before the next speed bump.
When you´re outside the city limits and on an open highway, the idea is to drive at the absolute maximum speed the van/bus is capable of achieving. Today we had to go from San Cristobal (high up in the mountains) downhill to Chiapa de Curso, the jumping off point for our boat ride. The highway is twisty and winding, dropping a few thusand feet in elevation and relatively steep downhill. My guess is we were going well over 80 mph, the van listing, tires squealing, as we barrelled around curves. "Slow" traffic drives half on the shoulder and half in the right lane. It´s only a 2 lane highway. This means the van driver can pass anytime he wants. Oncoming traffic is expected to move half over onto the shoulder as well. In short, the ride was not for the faint hearted. But fortunately, uneventful!
At least in Guatemala, the borders of the windshields of buses and vans are covered with holy pictures of saints, rosary beads, small statues of saints and of course the Virgin of Guadalupe, and other obvious tokens whose purpose it is to make sure that we will all die in good company when the van fails to negotiate a curve. In Mexico, the windshields are disturbingly bare and I suffer a proportionate loss of confidence.
My suspicion is that the boat drivers take lessons from the same driving school as the van/bus drivers. What a blast! The boat was a huge ponga, about 30-40 feet long and 10 feet wide. At the back end was a steel rod platform where the driver could sit, about 6 feet higher than everyone else. The ponga was powered by not one, but TWO, Yamaha 6 cylinder 200 horsepower outboard motors (!). When the driver pushed it to the max, the boat just about stood up and flew. We had to go down river a couple of miles to get to the "entrance" of the canyon. We were going so fast that looking at the scenery was like watching a program from the Discovery Channel on fast forward.
When we did enter the canyon, the driver throttled back and it was truly spectacular. The canyon walls went up vertically on both sides, sometimes well over 2,000 feet. There were vultures circling right over our heads (what did they know that we didn´t?). There were pelicans and herons, a waterfall, and pockmarked canyon walls with small caves and fascinating vegetation. On the way back, we pulled in close to shore to see 3 crocodiles. It was a heck of a lot of fun.
I sat next to a young Mexicano, on vacation, who works as a real estate agent in Denver. Apparently, there are so many Spanish speaking people in Denver, he can confine his sales to them and make enough to travel all over Mexico for a month. The ride back home was much less exciting, fortunately, due to the fact that we drove uphill.
Bottom line: if you should ever make it to the state of Chiapas, I highly recommend a boat ride in the Canyon of Sumidero. Hasta luego!