Dying to Tell You

The aunt of one of my teachers, L., recently passed away. As a result, understandably, some of our class times were re-scheduled to accomodate her attending funeral services, etc. I´ve had a chance to learn a little about the funeral customs of people who live in this part of Mexico. Keep in mind that the following customs are not necessarily going to apply to every family since there are no set "rules," just social customs. The senora of my house corroborated that the following is accurate.
The word of some one´s death spreads rapidly and people descend upon the house in droves: every relative, friends, friends of members of the family, work colleagues, neighbors, and a great many more. For the next two days the body is usually in a closed casket in the living room. The people who come bring candles, flowers, sugar, sweet breads, or coffee. These items will subsequently be offered to guests during the novenas, which I describe later on. The radio announces the death and names of all family members.
In the evenings there are prayers. After two days, there is the funeral mass in the church. The family hires musicians, frequently mariachis, to play during the service. If the distance is not far, the pall bearers, who are family members, carry the coffin to the cemetery. They make a point of walking past the decedent´s house and stopping to bow with the casket. The mariachis and other people walk along behind. If the distance is great, the coffin is placed in a pick-up truck or a hearse.
At the cemetery, there is more music and perhaps tequila. The family members usually return home and few visitors come that evening. The next day begins a 9 day period of time called a novena. Every night, guests from all over are welcome to show up and eat sweet bread or cake and drink coffee. All who have gathered pray for an hour. At the ninth day, there is a requiem mass at the church. Afterward, all are invited to come to the house again for a meal, usually including tamales and more taquila. After this meal, everyone goes to the cemetery again and, accompanied by mariachis and fortified with tequila, they pray for the soul of the departed. Everyone returns to the house in the late afternoon for a barbecue (barbacoa) which frequently consists of putting the whole lamb, wrapped in banana leaves, on hot coals under the ground, kind of like a Hawaiian luau. I´m told it´s not unusual for a number of people to drink too much at these dinners.
Forty days later, there is a second novena, with coffee and bread/cake again offered to all who show up. It is considered quite offensive to decline an invitation to attend one of these evenings, since, by attending, you are helping send the departed to their eternal reward.
The family is expected to wear black for at least this 40 day period of time. Some, if not most (depending on the closeness of the family connection) will wear black longer. Seven months after the death, there is another novena. One year after the death, and each year thereafter for seven years there are more novenas. L. tells me that the expense of all these funeral ceremonies is "super-costoso!" In those cases where the family might not be able to afford all of this, the neighbors will drop by to make a contribution.
That´s probably more than you ever wanted to know about death in Mexico. So....on that happy thought, have a good day! Hasta luego!